Today my hubby is guest posting to help me keep up with blogging as school gets into full swing again. Hope you enjoy his post!
Ok, so maybe horrible is a strong word. A better adjective may be “ineffective”. I want desperately to be a strong man of God and a great spiritual leader, but I am lazy and not very good at it.
I think my biggest problem is fear. Fear that I will not have the right words to say. Fear that my wife will laugh at my prayers or my attempts to get her to read the bible with me.
More and more men are leaving the church or not taking their role as spiritual leader seriously. I wonder if one reason we are noticing this trend in the church and in marriages is because we have never been taught how to be spiritual leaders. I never saw much spiritual leadership when I was a child. Prayer in our home was basically an awkward moment of gratitude at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
So I have some suggestions:
For the Men:
1) It Starts with You: Your prayer life with your wife is not going to improve until your personal prayer life does. You can’t guide someone else if you don’t know where you are going.
2) Start small: Your wife does not expect you to be Billy Graham. Start with reading a Proverb together before bed and sharing your thoughts.
3) Be ready to screw up: You are going to say something silly during a prayer or stumble over your words. It is okay. Your wife cares about progress, not perfection.
For the Women:
1) Encourage your husband: When he actually prays for you, or reads from the bible to you, or even if you see him reading it himself, tell him how much you value his efforts.
2) Never laugh or criticize his efforts: It may go without saying, but if your husband feels judged in the slightest he will close up tighter than a clam.
3) Do not take the lead: Do not ask to lead your husband in prayer or bible study or try to manipulate him to lead. I know it is tempting, but it makes most guys feel like a failure. We are already afraid we are going to screw up or have screwed up and asking us to lead only confirms our belief that we are not measuring up.
What do you think stops men from being spiritual leaders? What is one thing you can do this week to either be the spiritual leader(men) or encourage your husband to take on that role(women)?