Mullica (Creative Commons)
My friend Ngina Otiende is guest posting today about intentional living.
Ngina is a writer, avid reader and recovering last-born, currently rebuilding a consulting business after moving 8,000 miles across the globe. She loves green tea, laughter and helping others take charge of their lives. She is married to her hero and they live in Maryland. You can find her on twitter @nginaotiende or at her blog.
I am a last born child (in a family of nine kids!). I don’t understand all there is to birth order, but I know being a last born child has shaped my life in a big way.
Last born children generally get a sweeter deal compared to older siblings. By the time the last child swings by, the parents have been-there-done-that with the older sibling(s). They are a bit relaxed. The last born kid gets to bounce along in life, experiment, get away with stuff, break some rules – all without starting a Third World War at home. At least that was how it was for me.
The last born child often grows up expecting others and life to pick up after him or her. They get miffed when life doesn’t serve up what they want.
The truth is that many of us are living our lives like last-borns.
We blame others – the past, colleagues, boyfriends, parents, bosses, wives, anyone but us – for the circumstances and conditions of our lives.
We hope to give minimum effort and reap maximum gain. We crave lives filled with ease and comfort – we self-medicate from the pains of a broken world because we are broken within.
It took awhile for me to understand that success is not something you wish for or hope to happen to you. It’s something you actively pursue. And not in a haphazard manner. It must be through deliberate choices.
Put simply, intentional living is living in a thought-out, pre-meditated way…making daily choices that lead toward success.
To live intentionally…
1. Know why you are here.
You must be a purpose-pursuer. Purpose means ‘the reason for which anything is done, created or exists’. It is very difficult to be intentional about ‘nothing’. You can’t pursue ‘nothing’. Knowing the reason for your existence gives you a target to aim at. It acts as a motivator. There are many ways to discover your purpose. Explore your gifts, talents, passions, and what others say you are good at.
2. Change your thinking.
To live intentionally, you must acquire a new mindset. It will mean confronting your inner fears and having the courage to change your present. This inner change will show in the actions you take and the decisions you make.
3. Simplify your life.
Focus on the important things and drop the others. It’s very hard to be successful when your energy is split in a thousand different directions. Most successful people become good at one thing, but not everything. When a gardener wants a flower bush to flourish, he prunes it. De-cluttering will mean letting go of some things as you reach for better things.
4. Persevere.
You must have a winner’s attitude. Success is not an overnight event. It is a long journey. You must be willing to put in the effort and work required over a long period of time.
Question – Are you living intentionally? Do you struggle with any of these four areas?
Melissa Titus 
I apologize to those who had trouble getting their comments to post! For some reason a few posts went to spam. I think it was a settings issue. Hopefully it is fixed now! Thank you for letting me know. I was not aware this was happening.
Thanks for looking into it Melissa
I was sure I commented on here the other day and not just your blog. Not sure if what happened, or maybe I just thought I had commented?
Anyway, great post. I’m not going to go into me being the last of three kids again because I can’t remember what all I said (or thought I said).
haha TC, too funny.
Your comment did surfaced. Thank you so much for the efforts. Melissa has explained the hitch above. (they’d gone to spam)
Love this post Ngina, didn’t know last born children were this many until I considered the derivation you have used to share the post.
I am a firstborn and well, firstborns too have their own level of comfort but the tendencies you have shared are similar across the board. Purpose, thinking, focus and perseverance are so key to intentional living. Focus for me has been an area I have been working on. I am learning that if I put my energies in one thing then I’ll be good at it. An analogy to consider is a lion hunting down an antelope…that requires focus, otherwise no meal for the day!
Ha, i hear you Jep! It’s true that you won’t get a ‘meal’ if you aren’t willing to work for it! Wonderful way of putting it. the lion doesn’t catch the antelope by lazing around
In his new book Wrecked, Jeff Goins says that some blessings take time..they aren’t easy and you need to be willing to work for them. I am glad that you are working on yours.
Thank you so much for dropping in and sharing. We got a lastborn view!
Ngina, my life was not structured a few months ago. I was all over the board and stressed out. I kept praying to God to ask him for a better way to allow me to focus on what truly mattered to him and myself. He showed me how, and I can tell it i’ve been operating in clarity ever since. I can’t imagine not working clearly.
Amen Lincoln. I know what you mean – I have lived the stressed and stretched life too…. It’s not pretty!
I am glad you have found balance and focus. Clarity is so key when it comes to success.
Great post.
I was the last born of three. It made it somewhat easier for me but also harder. My parents expectations of me were high however, they babied me in other ways.
I think you hit the nail on the head regarding how many view the world. We must change our thinking and realize why we have been placed on this Earth. We all have God given talents, abilities and weaknesses- unique to us. You cannot do the job God created for me and I can’t do what God created for you.
We need to embrace our lives and take responsibility for the outcome.
Awesome to have you comment come through TC :). That was a great balance that your parents kept.
I totally agree with you. Many of us need a new mindset – we like doing what others are doing, thinking we’ll find success that way. But no one ever found success being someone else. We just need take responsibility for ourselves.
Great thoughts. thank you so much for dropping in and sharing.
My wife and myself are also the last born.
Intentional living allows a person to live a significant and fulfilled life. I have learned the importance of finding then being a purpose driven person. Great post.
That is so neat!
I like that thought of finding and BEING a purpose-driven person. always the best way to live-forward, as Kent Julian would say 🙂
Thank you dropping in, sharing. And the headsup about the comments hitch. P/s Melissa has explained it at the hitch at the top of blog post.
I too am the last born and grasp the advantages and disadvantages. I love Ngina’s heart and passion, that’s where it all starts I think. I believe the success is measured over a lifetime and can’t be measured by a number… We last borns always seem to be the “last ones” to figure this part out!
Ha I love that last line Floyd..and totally agree with your perspective. Thankfully, we get it finally. (love that scripture in the bible where it talks about the last shall be first 🙂
Thank you so much for dropping in and sharing.
I am a last born too…good insight for me, Ngina, thank you and you are doing a great job…
Thank you Karey, am glad the post blessed you
Thank you for having me here today Melissa. It’s an honor to share with your awesome readers.
Ha! I am a last born child. Life was definitely easier on me growing up than my 2 older brothers. Great tips for living intentionally!
I’m a last born, too! I probably got away with a lot but I imagine it would have been much worse if I were the last of nine. Honored to feature your post today, Ngina!
Agree with you Eileen, it’s a sweet life 🙂 Easy to want to hung on forever 🙂