1. Listen to the advice of old fogies. Find a couple (or several if you are lucky) who has a healthy marriage and get advice from them. They don’t have to be perfect, just healthy. If they communicate (without constant yelling or insults), if they show affection, if they have been through hell and back together and are still committed to each other, they are probably healthy. If God is number one, their spouse second, and kids third, they are probably healthy. Cling to these kinds of couples like glue. You need their advice. Really listen. No marriage is perfect, but these kinds of couples have been there, done that. They know how to help you.
2. Take advice of said couples and run with it! Actually implement the advice they give you, even if you think it won’t work. Meet with them regularly if possible.
We’ve found the advice and modeling of other couples to be indispensable. When you see them interacting it’s like a lightbulb comes on “Oh, this is how it’s supposed to be!”